


The Story of My Life

by BroadwayCutie16



Category: Love Simon (2018)
Genre: Martin Addison Bashing, Martin Addison Redemption, Martin gets a wake up call
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroadwayCutie16/pseuds/BroadwayCutie16
Summary: Martin Addison believes he is his story's protagonist, the good guy who's supposed to win the girl and everyone's respect in the end.  Thus, all of his actions, no matter how questionable or misguided they may seem on the surface, are actually completely justified.  But when the full extent of those actions are revealed to the girl he saw as his love interest, she and her friends have a different view on his role in the story of their lives.  And they’re going to make sure he knows just what they think.
Relationships: Mentioned Bram Greenfield/Simon Spier
Kudos: 2





	The Story of My Life

Martin Addison stared at the screen of his smartphone, re-reading all of the emails between Simon Spier and his secret online lover, Blue, set across the email he had sent out on his account. A few months ago, he had caught these emails when Simon forgot to log out after using the computer. Martin had screenshot them and kept them in his phone ever since.

As he scrolled back and forth, reading each heartfelt message and personal tweet for the hundredth time, Martin wondered what had gone so horribly wrong in his plans. It wasn't supposed have gone like this. He was the good guy. He was supposed to win Abby's heart, show her that he was the guy for her. He was supposed get the girl, prove that he was somebody, and get everything he had been striving for since the start of high school, just like in all those movies where the loser becomes the winner.

Instead, his love interest had ended with the wrong guy, and he was still in the same low, stub standard status that he had been in the beginning. Definitely made for a disappointing film. Would probably tank in the box office. Who wanted to see the loser go through all that shit just to end up where he had been at the start? No one, that's who's.

Martin had really thought that his time had come. That this would be his year. That he would finally get that movie moment of crowning glory that showed everyone just what Martin Addison was worth. Instead, he had been ridiculed and then forgotten entirely. Story of his life.

Whatever. He needed to get a drink. He looked out at Abby, rehearsing with the rest of the cast, in the middle of the scene. Releasing a sigh of pining, he set his phone on one of the dressing tables and went to go grab something from the vending machines.

While he walked out the door, Abby finished her scene and strutted offstage, proud and confident. This past week or so had been kind of rough for her, but right now, she could pretend that she was someone else and forget that someone she thought she could trust had betrayed her.

As she passed by the dressing tables, her eyes caught the blue light emitting from someone's phone. As she glanced in the light's direction, she only just caught two words on the screen—Simon Spier. The boy she had befriended and trusted, only to find out he had been lying and manipulating her and Nick to keep them apart, all so she could pawn him off on Martin like an object.

She took a few steps back to align herself across from the phone. Abby wasn't sure what possessed her at that moment. Maybe deep down, she still harbored care for Simon, even if she denied it. Maybe she wanted to see what Simon was up to now that he had betrayed his friends. Maybe it was simple curiosity. Whatever the reason, Abby walked over and leaned over to look at the phone as if in a trance. The first sentence she saw sent into shock.

**Simon Spier has a secret.**

Without another thought to what could happen should she be caught, Abby snatched up the phone and brought it close to her face, reading the full text.

**Ladies and gentlemen, Simon Spier has a secret. He has a secret male pen pal. Because he's gay. Interested parties may contact him directly to discuss arrangements for butt sex. Ladies need not apply.**

Below were photographs of emails between two people, one names Jacques, and one named Blue. The emails were messages, intimate words that expressed adoration and vulnerability, things that should only be shared by two people with deep affection and connection for one another, and certainly not shown to the masses.

Abby recognized the message, the words at the top, the screenshots accompanied it, even the sign off by "Anonymous". This was the same email that had been posted anonymously on the school website, outing Simon as gay to the whole school. And whoever's phone this was that Abby was holding in her hand, was the shameless coward who had posted this.

Holding her breath, Abby scrolled up the screen to the account icon at the top. Clicking on it, the site switched to the main account page of the owner. When she read the name of the user who owned this account, her heart stopped.

Martin Addison

Abby just stood there, staring at the name, glaring at her from the screen, every muscle of her body frozen, as her mind tried to process this new information to uncover the awful, awful truth.

"Abby?"

At the sound of her name, she turned her head to see Martin standing there, soda can in hand, looking at her confused and a little annoyed. "Abby, what are you doing with my phone?"

Abby's eyes narrowed into slits, catching him off-guard. "Better question, Martin. What's your school account doing with Simon's outing email?"

Martin's face paled considerably when he realized what she had seen, that she had figured it out. "A-A-Abby, I-I can explain..."

"I don't think you need to, Martin.", Abby said. Her tone was soft yet dangerous at the same time, cold as ice. "I think I already know everything I need to know." She tossed the phone in his direction, not caring if she missed and broke it, and went stomping towards the exit. Martin grabbed the phone just in time and went running after her.

——————————

Nick and Lea were waiting for Abby by the lockers when they saw her storming towards them. They noticed straight away that she did not have that same energetic, full of sunshine look that she always had after play rehearsal. Instead, she looked more like a dangerous thundercloud making it's way towards the storm.

"Abby, what's wrong?", Nick asked as she came to where they stood.Before she could answer, Martin Addison came dashing into view from around the corner, looking panicked and frightened.

"Abby, please!Let me explain!"

"Explain what, Martin?!", snapped Abby, whirling around to face the boy."Explain that you blackmailed Simon?!That you screenshot his private emails and threatened to post them if he didn't help you hook up with me?!Because I already knew that!But I didn't know..."

Abby shook her head, blinking back tears."You know, Martin, even though I didn't really like you, like, as a boyfriend, I still liked you as a friend.I still thought even with your crazy ideas and misguided sense of romance, you were still a genuinely nice guy."She looked up at the ceiling, her lips thinning."Boy...boy, was I off.You have to be the worst person I have ever known."

"Abby, what are you talking about?", Nick asked, his brow furrowing with concern.

Abby looked back at Martin, eyebrows raised high."You gonna tell them, Martin?Oh wait, no, that's right.You're not.Because you run away at the first sight of conflict towards you."

"Abby, what's going on?", asked Leah.

Abby looked at her and Nick."Martin outed Simon.He's the one who posted that email telling everyone Simon was gay and had a secret pen pal."

Nick and Leah whipped their heads to Martin with wide eyes."It was you?!", exclaimed Nick.

"Of course it was him!", said Abby, folding her arms over her chest."Simon told us he screenshot his emails and blackmailed him with them!"

"But he said that Martin wasn't gonna do unless he helped him with you!", Leah reminded her friends.

"Yeah...yeah, he did say that.", Abby said, glaring venomously at Martin."So why, Martin?Why did you do it?Why did you out Simon after he helped you?I mean, sure he failed, but that's not his fault.He still tried.So why did you go back on your word?"

Martin stammered for a moment, feeling the burn of their glares on him, waiting for an answer."After the Homecoming game...everyone was on my back.I couldn't go online without seeing some dumb meme making fun of me.I thought if I could give them something else to focus on, they'd leave me alone."

"Oh...oh, I see.So you threw Simon to the wolves to save your own skin.", growled Nick.

"The situations a little more complex than that..."

"Complex?!What you did seems pretty straightforward jackassery to me!", shouted Nick."Martin, let's go over the facts.You stole Simon's private, personal messages, threatened to out him to everyone, forced him to lie to his friends, then cut him loose just to get everyone off your back, just for a little teasing, which I think you brought on yourself when you put Abby in that awkward situation at Homecoming."

"What's more, Simon did nothing to warrant you breaking your end of the deal when he did everything he could to fulfill his.", Abby pointed out."It wasn't his fault that I didn't like you back!Simon couldn't force me to like you back, Martin!But he still did everything you demanded of him and more.And how did you repay him?You stabbed him in the back and did exactly what he was afraid you'd do!All because you couldn't deal with consequences that you brought on yourself."

"I'm sorry, okay?!", Martin shouted."I didn't think him being gay would be such a big deal!"

"Than why did you use it to blackmail him?!", shouted Abby.Her question pierced his armor."If you didn't think those messages were such a big deal, why did you steal them in the first place?!Why did you hold them over his head?!Why did you use them to get Simon to do what you wanted?!Why did you post them to distract everyone else from your own humiliation?!That's the thing I don't get, Martin.If you really thought Simon being gay wouldn't cause such a fuss, why did you use it against him and then reveal it to the world to get them to forget about you?Surely, you must have thought it was kind of serious, if you thought it would be enough to persuade Simon to give into your demands.And you must have figured it would be enough to make everyone forget about what you did at Homecoming."

"Yeah, Martin.You knew that those emails were a big deal.", said Nick."That's why you used them as leverage to get Simon to be your puppet.That's messed up, man."

"Oh, yeah?", snarled Martin."If you guys think that, why did you blame Simon for all this?"

"What?"

"I heard about your lil' fallin' out with him.Pretty much ended your friendship with him.Accused him of betraying you.Which is odd, considering you're talking to me now about how I forced him to act against you.If you're so certain Simon is the victim in all this, why did you turn your backs on him?And in his darkest hour, too!You guys say I cut him loose?You're the ones who left him to deal with his coming out on his own.You just stood by and watched as he was targeted in the cafeteria.Even if you were mad, that means you let him be ridiculed in front of everyone!That's what I call messed up.You guys ditched him when he needed you the most.All because he did something that you say I forced him into!You pin all the blame on Simon and desert him for it, and yet here you are, telling me the fault is all mine, and that Simon was completely taken advantage of.Well?Which one is it, guys?"

His words seemed to get through to Abby and Nick, who looked hurt and shared nervous glances with each other.Martin smiled, believing that he had won, only to realize that Leah had not said a word since the real trash-talk began.She just stood there, looking to the side, stone-faced and emotionless, like a statue left out in the cold.

Nick and Abby noticed, too, sending wary glances her way."Leah?You okay?"

"It's true.", Leah muttered, slowly but clearly."We probably shouldn't have treated Simon the way we did.He was in a scary situation, and we blew up at him for being threatened with something that could change his whole world.Coming out is hard.There's still so much hate in the world for gays.And Simon was pushed out of the closet before he was ready, by someone who had promised he wouldn't if he gave in, which he did.He needed his friends, and we left him in his darkest hour."

Nick and Abby hung their heads in shame, while Martin simply smirked triumphantly.Then, Leah slowly turned her head to face him, and his victorious attitude melted like an ice cube in the oven when he saw the look of betrayal and disgust on her face, brought home by the tears forming in the corners of her eyes."But no matter what we did to Simon...it doesn't even come close to what you did to him."

She turned the rest of her body to face him directly as she scrunched up her face slightly to hold back the tears."You used him.You manipulated him.You treated him like a tool and put him in an impossible situation where he had to either lie to the people he cared about or have his biggest secret exposed to the world.And then you threw him away when it was convenient for you, even though he risked so much just to suit your own selfish ends."

Martin's confidence was completely gone, vanished in a puff of smoke at Leah's accusations."I-I-I-I didn't think—"

"Of course you didn't think!", screamed Leah, unleashing all her righteous fury at Martin.Even Nick and Abby were shocked at this new, furious side to her."You didn't think of Abby's feelings when she tried to turn you down gently!You didn't think of Simon's feelings when you blackmailed him and then backstabbed him to get the heat off yourself!You never think of anybody but yourself!You're the most self-centered, entitled, ungrateful ass I've ever met!And what really makes you awful is that you go around, pretending that you're this nice guy who deserves a prize for general decency, instead of the two-faced manipulative bastard you really are!"

Leah wiped her eyes, which were now red and watery."You know what your problem is, Martin?You think you're the hero of the story.You think you're the good guy we're all supposed to root for, that whatever you do is justified in the name of true love and getting what you deserve.That the ends justify your means, even if someone ends up used and discarded like trash.You think you're the hero of the story we're in."

Leah threw her shoulders back and fixed Martin with a glare full of hatred and distain."Well, I can tell you right now, Martin, you're not.You are not the hero.You know what you really are, Martin."She paused a beat, then drove it home with her final words."You're the villain."

All the despair and heartache appeared on Martin's face at her cruel words, but he found no sympathy in her face, nor in those of Abby and Nick.They just kept staring at him, with those stares that were a mixture of disappointment and righteous fury.Neither of them told Leah she had gone too far, neither of them tried to comfort him.

Without another word spoken, Leah spun on her heel and went rushing down the halls, her hair swinging wildly behind her as she strove to get far, far away from Martin.Nick and Abby soon followed suit, both of them clearly unwilling to be near him a second longer.Within moments, Martin was truly alone.Not just in the hallway, but in life.

——————————

The streets were quiet that dark night, completely empty save for the young man strolling past with his head in a fog. As he wandered the sidewalks of his hometown, not quite certain of his destination, the words of his crush and her friends echoed through his mind.

_Why did you go back on your word?_

_You threw Simon to the wolves to save your own skin._

_What you did seems pretty straightforward jackassery to me!_

_You stabbed him in the back..._

_If you really thought Simon being wouldn't be a big deal, why did you use it against him?_

_You used them as leverage to get Simon to be your puppet. That's messed up, man._

_...it doesn't even come close to what you did to him._

_You used him._

_You manipulated him._

_You treated him like a tool..._

_Put him in an impossible situation..._

_You threw him away when it was convenient for you..._

_You never think of anybody but yourself._

_You go around, pretending you're this nice guy..._

_Two-faced, manipulative bastard..._

_You think you're the hero of the story..._

_You're not._

_You're the villain._

"That's not true...", Martin muttered to himself, shaking his head as he passed another house. "I'm not the bad guy here. I made some mistakes, yeah, but I'm not the villain. They're wrong. They have no right to judge me. I was just a guy, trying to prove myself. That doesn't make me the villain." He grumbled gloomily as he kicked a stray stone in his path. "Some epic movie this turned out to be."

Suddenly, he looked up and noticed he had come to Simon's house without even realizing it. He glanced up at the architecture, wondering what he should do next. Should he ring the doorbell and try again to apologize to Simon for what he did? He had tried that before, but Simon had simply shouted to leave him alone from now on. Maybe he should just pretend he hadn't noticed and keep walking.

Just then, the door opened. Scared of being seen by Simon, whose life he had made harder, Martin dove behind a nearby tree to hide. Sure enough, Simon came barreling out the door, laptop in his hands. With wide, angry strides, he came to the front of the house and tossed the computer into the trash bin in clear frustration. Martin watched him wipe his face on his sleeves before dashing back into the house, slamming the door behind him.

Slowly, Martin came out from behind the tree, walking up to the bin where the laptop now lay. Part of him wanted to see what was in it, what had made Simon so upset, but another part of him reminded himself how things had gone when he had snooped through's Simon's personal stuff before. Nevertheless, his curiosity won out, and Martin retrieved the laptop from the trash can and carefully unfolded it.

Simon had not logged out or closed any tabs. Instead, the laptop still had his email account on, the same one Martin recognized from the school computer all those months ago. He looked at the latest email from "Blue".

**I saw the posts. I know who you are. Jacques a Dits. That's what they call Simon Says in France. Very clever. I'm sorry, Simon. I can't do this anymore. I'm so sorry.**

Martin’s heart sank as he went to Simon's response email.

**Please, Blue. You can't leave me alone. Everything's falling apart.**

Above, an icon said "Delivery to the recipient blugreen118@gmail.com failed permanently."

Martin remembered what he felt at the Homecoming game after Abby turned him down. Upset, humiliated, ashamed, angry, disappointed...it had been the worst moment of his life so far. He thought that nothing that happened to him after that could ever make him feel as bad as he had standing there in front of the whole school in a bear mascot costume, rejected by the girl he crushed on.

This...This feeling now...this was a thousand times worse.

Martin started getting flashbacks of everything he had done in the past few months. Coming upon Simon's personal emails, taking photos of them, threatening to post them to Simon, pushing him to invite him places he wasn't wanted, to lie to his friends, to go against his own morals and risk his own friendships, then exposing him to the whole school, the whole world, like a coward who couldn't take a little hassle for acting like he deserved the girl just for being nice.

And Simon, good, shy, gentle Simon, who never wished to harm a fly, who struggled with himself, who had never done a thing to deserve the way he had been treated and used, was now paying the price for Martin’s actions, all because Martin had pushed him to be his minion and then threw him under the bus to spare himself a little teasing.

The tears started coming, and Martin could not hold them back as the horrible truth hit him like a train.

“I am the villain.”

——————————-

The car stopped by the ground.The man in charge nodded to Simon.“S’okay.Last ride ticket, buddy.”

Simon tried to hide his disappointment as the woman went to unlock the door.

“Wait!Wait!”

All eyes were at Martin as he came dashing to through the crowd and stopped right at the the Ferris wheel platform.After catching his breath, he spoke.“Simon...It’s me.I’m Blue.I love you.”

“No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not.I just...I...this is...this so brutal.”He went digging through his pockets, pulling out a handful of crumpled dollar bills and counting the amount.“How much is it?”

“Four tickets.”

“Perfect, okay, here you go.”, Martin stammered, shoving the bills into the arms of the operator, then turned to Simon.“Last one’s on me.”

He then went running back into the crowd as the operator announced the last call for the Ferris Wheel.He, along with everyone else, watched with baited breath, waiting to see if Blue would show up.

And he did.

—————————

Nick, Abby and Leah chose to give Simon and Bram some alone time, a chance to get to talk face to face instead of through computers or phones.As they stopped for funnel cakes, they spotted Martin standing by the cart.His eyes met theirs, and for a moment, the future was unclear.

“That was...really nice.”, Abby finally said.“What you did for Simon.”

“Well, I figured it was the least I could do, after...”He didn’t need to finish his sentence.

There was another moment of awkward silence, of eyes wandering and lips thinning, of wondering whether to keep talking or just stay quiet, when Martin broke the air.

“You were right.About me, about Simon, about what I did, about me being the bad guy...you guys were right about everything.I was so wrapped up in my own delusions that I was the hero, I didn’t stop to think about how my actions would affect the rest of the characters.I got carried away by my own selfish desires and illusions, and I ended up hurting a lot of people who I actually kinda like and respect.And for that...I am so, so sorry.”

Martin looked at Abby and Nick.“Abby...I’m sorry I used Simon to get to you.He was your friend, and I used him as a pawn against you in my twisted game of love.I forced him to do things he hated and would never want to do to you.And I definitely shouldn’t have betrayed him by posting his emails, even after he tried to help me.It was a cowardly move.”

“Yeah, it was.”, Addy stated sharply, her voice having a razor-sharp edge to it.

He looked at Leah, who seemed surprised with his eyes on her.“And Leah...you were right about my role in the story.I thought I was the good guy, but I was really the jerk.I was the driving force behind all the conflict between you and Simon.And when I found out what I did caused him to lose you and his other friends...I knew that I’d screwed up.I knew who I’d been all along.But I don’t wanna be that guy.I don’t want to be the villain of the story.I know I might never be the hero...but I definitely don’t want to be the enemy, either.”

He faced all three of them with a regretful look, showing all the remorse and guilt that he had inside.“Look, I know you can never forgive me for what I did.I crossed so many lines, I don’t even know what territory of shitiness I’m in right now.But I want you all to know, that I am truly, deeply, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, sorry.”

The three friends were silent for a moment, every moment they stayed silent agonizing for Martin.Finally, Nick spoke.“It’s...Its gonna take time.Lots of time.”

“Soooooo much time.”, added Abby.“It might not even reach before graduation.”

“But...in time...”, Leah said slowly.“I think we might be able to forgive you.Someday.Maybe.”

“Depends on Simon.”, said Nick.

Martin gave them a hopeful half-smile.“It’s more than I could hope for.”

They gave him each a hopeful half-smile back.“See you around, Martin.”

As he watched their backs retreat to check back up on their friend and his new boyfriend, Martin felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.He wasn’t expecting them to forgive him at all, let alone before they all graduated, he certainly wasn’t expecting them to become his friends.But knowing that they might be starting on the path to forgiving him was enough for him.

As he went to leave the carnival that fateful night, Martin Addison knew that while he might never become the hero of the story, he would always, always, always strive to be good, not fake-good, like he had been before, but real good, just like Simon.

And if he could meet the halfway amount of the standards of true, actually goodness that Simon Spier met, well, that would truly be something to be proud of.


End file.
